August 2007

Happy August!

Peter and I are settling into our cottage. We had the movers bring all of our clothes, writing materials and office files here. Everything else is in storage in New York. In the twenty years we’ve loved coming to Stonington to our beloved cottage, it has always been a second home, not our main residence. For the FIRST time, we opened the front door, hugged and realized this is HOME. Our daughter Brooke and her husband Tony came to visit us for a weekend soon after we arrived and questioned why we have the house on the market. Good question! There was something unsettling about our unpacking and enjoying the feeling of the peacefulness and privacy of our adorable old house and having a huge “For Sale” sign in the front yard. That Sunday morning, Tony hid the sign in the back of the Zen garden. Monday morning we called our real estate broker and told her we’ve decided to take our cottage off the market.

My mentor, friend, and former boss, Eleanor McMillen Brown, taught me that when you change one thing you should re-think everything. We live our lives in stages. Now, we’ve opened a new chapter – 87 Water Street. Upon arrival, I immediately pruned the pink beach roses that hug our picket fence. The Inn at Stonington’s owner, Bill Griffin, walked by and suggested we go to the Inn to set up a date for another “Happiness Weekend.”

Please mark your calendar: Friday, November 2nd, Saturday, November 3rd, and Sunday November 4th, we will celebrate another weekend together. Sign up early; space is limited. (Telephone 860-535-2000.) I believe this will be our 9th Happiness Weekend at the Inn. We had two in other locations – the Ritz-Carlton in Chicago and the Adams Inn in High Point, North Carolina, since our last one here in Stonington. We’re so excited. We haven’t been free to plan future events until now because of our move and our house being on the market.

We’re thrilled we’ll be able to welcome you, friends, and family to our cottage over the course of the Happiness Weekend, as usual. For all of you who have experienced one of these special gatherings, you know how rare and meaningful they are. We come together with open hearts and minds, not necessarily knowing anyone else except our spouse or sister or friend, and over the course of spending time as a group, we build a happy sense of community.

The inn helped us find a housekeeper, an angel who comes regularly to make the cottage shine. The windows are clean, the new roofs and gutters we replaced last summer are sound, and we feel the great blessing of our being given the gift of time to live in our charming 18th century cottage for a while more. We don’t take this privilege for granted. Every moment, we try to be mindful of the grace and ease and real sense of joy we feel as we ritualize our quiet days together here in Stonington Village, Connecticut.

Last summer when the house was for sale we put the cottage on a strict diet. In fact, people who came to visit for the happiness weekends were able to buy little objects from us as souvenirs. The money went into our happiness fund. After moving from our large apartment in Manhattan, I’m still very focused to de-thug the cottage, to rid it of anything that is not needed, useful and beautiful. I’m in the groove and every Monday evening before the sun sets, we remove large yellow re-cycling bags full of old files, clippings and memorabilia we no longer want to house.

I love the Japanese expression, “Space to Breathe.” Having a shelf without objects on it makes me breathe more deeply. After 39 plus years living in our 1125 Park Avenue apartment, I found it soulful to walk through the rooms that were completely empty. Space is beautiful. We have to understand the Zen concept of “empty and be full.” We have to grasp the truth of impermanence and embrace change. If we’re so full of stuff and our rigid thoughts, we can’t ever hope for transformation.

Peter asked me to be the guardian of his time. What an honor. He went to New York City to Carnegie Hill in 1927 when Charles Lindbergh flew solo to Paris. The New York Times reminded me recently this notable event was 80 years ago …

We have loved sitting in our adjoining writing rooms, engrossed in thought, working on new books. We spend most of our waking hours in a flow state – out of mind, out of body. As a result, the time flies.

The end of July I wrote a feature article for the re-launch of Victoria Magazine, “A Room of One’s Own.” What a fun day Peter and I shared with the editorial director Brittany and Gayle, a portrait photographer, who came up from New York on a glorious sunny day. We showed them all around the cottage, we showed them my Zen writing room, and after several houses, including a leisurely lunch at the nearby Skipper’s Dock restaurant, sipping iced tea, eating grilled shrimp and crab cakes, Gayle picked up her camera and began to shoot. She got me to look at Peter’s smile, and then look into the camera. Click. Click. At seven o’clock, these talented, professional ladies drove back to New York. What a magical day!

Our blue hydrangeas were in full bloom the week we arrived and I was able to cut some to sprinkle around the house. Brooke loves the cottage and shares an irrational passion for blue hydrangea. After spending a weekend here with Tony, absorbed in a blue forest of her favorite flowers, she came back the next week to carpe diem when Tony was in Savanna on business. Because she was Style Editor of House & Garden for six years and styled several of my book jackets, I showed her my Zen room and she added a few finishing touches for the photo shoot. Stamps in a spun-glass blue and white dish, small hand-blown paperweights and an old journal opened, Magic! She opened my desk drawer to show the ink containers. Another detail of photograph.

We’re in the rhythms of each day, early to awaken, early to bed. We’re in the habit of our seven days a week in the discipline of going to our writing rooms, quietly putting our thoughts on smooth white paper.

We’re looking forward to my literary editor coming this week for her annual visit. Toni comes to discuss book ideas and to enjoy the beauty of this sweet fishing village. She’s going to show me page proofs of the book design for Happiness For Two.

When the window cleaner accidentally dropped a large picture window in my writing room the afternoon before the photo shoot and shattered glass everywhere, over the phone Toni couldn’t believe I was so calm. I smiled and told her I’d had a massage and facial the day before at a nearby Elizabeth Arden. But I feel this sense of inner peace goes deeper than a deep tissue massage. Peter has never been happier. He doesn’t miss New York. He’s completely ensconced at 87 Water Street. I guess we’re lucky. We’ve stumbled on happiness. Here we are, living simply, with time and freedom to contemplate life from the highest point of view. I continue to study happiness, and Aristotle is still my favorite philosopher who teaches me daily about the value of living the good life.

I wish for you great joy as you savor this month. Henry James believed the two best words ever thought or written are “summer afternoon.” Eat corn-on-the-cob and vine-ripe tomatoes. Read great literature and enjoy the softness of these sun-drenched days.

Great love to you.

Love & Live Happy

Alexandra's favorite hydrangea!

Alexandra's writing table with favorite blue hydrangea. Simply heaven!

November 2nd, 3rd, and 4th 2007: 9th Happiness Weekend at the Inn at Stonington. Enjoy a full and fulfilling weekend with Alexandra: Welcome reception, seminar, dinner with Alexandra and Peter at a wonderful local restaurant. A fabulous weekend getaway.