December 2025

I love you! Happy December.

November, being my birthday month, turned into a celebration of connection, friendships, gratitude and love. In a word, turning 84 and having family and friends near and far make a fuss over me felt sublime. My depths of gratitude for the outpouring of warm greetings and heartfelt love will sustain me in whatever grace notes I have ahead. Thank you.

The day before my birthday, Brooke treated me to a mother-daughter trip to the Brooklyn Museum to see the “Monet and Venice” exhibition. Claude Monet has always been my favorite Impressionist painter. My mother and godmother Mitzi (both artists) made sure I was exposed to art at an early age. I saw my first Monet at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts when I was five. This exhibition is sensational. 

Monet was reluctant to go to Venice. (“I will not go to Venice,” he would say.) Once he went there with his wife, Alice, in 1908, he remarked that the allure of Venice was too beautiful to be painted. This visit restored his confidence in painting, and he went back to his water lily series that he’d started and abandoned. 

Monet’s paintings teach art lovers how to look into the depths of things and not just at the surface, to study reflective shadows, textures and movement. 

After feasting our eyes on the enchantment of a city that Brooke, Peter and I love, we went to lunch at Harry Cipriani's restaurant at Grand Central Station in Manhattan. The original one is in Venice. We didn’t have their famous bellinis, but we were transported to Venice and the food was magnificent. This began my birthday festivities. 

I ended my November letter by telling you that I’d be writing about inner peace and calm for my December letter. I also told you about some theater I’ve enjoyed. Funny how life evolves. After I finished writing November's letter, I was off to see A Chorus Line (their 50^th anniversary) at the Goodspeed Opera House. I’m now off to the Christmas show there!

As I write this, it isn’t even Thanksgiving yet. Because Elissa is traveling to be with family for the holiday, I am writing this letter early.

And now, let me recall some fun theater productions.

I enjoyed a comedic play, Incident at Our Lady of Perpetual Help, about a teenage girl and her sister who were raised Catholic in the 1970s. Being able to listen to the ’70s music and observe what goes on behind the scenes in this ordinary family’s ordinary life was lighthearted, relaxing and well-acted. Teenagers care deeply about their appearances and other people’s perceptions. 

I saw a new adaptation of Pride & Prejudice at the University of Rhode Island. I’d first seen a production at Trinity Repertory Company in Providence in 2019. My memory of that production is just how ridiculous Mrs. Bennet was as she flitted around on the stage. The colorful, elaborate period costumes, worn by her five unmarried daughters, took up the real estate on stage. 

This college production was fresh, bold and playful. A tall, lean Black senior was ideally cast as the gentleman Mr. Darcy, whose latent love of Elizabeth Bennett flourished after the intermission as his true character resonated with her after a rough start. 

Jane Austen’s ability to put into words her characters’ feelings and descriptions of ordinary, commonplace life and events is her great gift as a storyteller. Two hundred and twelve years ago, Mr. Darcy admitted to Elizabeth, “I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice though not in principle.” Think of Mr. Darcy when you read, “Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.” 

When Elizabeth’s ditzy sister Mary played the piano atrociously and sang pathetically off-key, her father, Mr. Bennet, gently ended the agonizing family embarrassment: “You have delighted us long enough.” Classic Austen. 

Salt Marsh Opera presented The Pirates of Penzance at both the United Theatre in Westerly, Rhode Island, and the Kate (Katharine Hepburn Cultural Arts Center) in Old Saybrook, Connecticut. My theater buddy Carolyn had never been to the Kate, where we enjoyed the musical enormously. It was spirited, athletic and colorful, and the music was absolutely lovely. We left uplifted and energized. 

The Gamm Theatre in Warwick, Rhode Island, never fails to put on great theater because of the excellence of the actors and the artistic director, Tony Estrella. I’d never seen Frankie and Johnny in the Clair de Lune on Broadway or as a film. I sat in the front row, a friend on each side, and watched two young people in bed. Naked. Having sex. They were vulnerable, intimate, cynical and sincere in their quick back-and-forth banter. 

Music continually played on the radio. Two amazing actors reminded us about what being in a sexual relationship is all about. This is real life, the real thing. Will their relationship last? Will they put in the hard work after the fleeting passion ends? This is the question everyone has to answer for themselves.

I often reread Emerson because he has had such a strong hold over my mind, soul and spirit for well over half a century. The world has become increasingly complex and perplexing, and I find his insights and wisdom a helpful guide. 

We need to be true to the principles that direct the course of our inner lives in order to move forward with clarity and confidence. In Emerson’s closing words of his classic essay “Self-Reliance,” he reminds us: “Nothing can bring you peace but the triumph of principles.”

What are the basic truths you hold dear? How do you stay true to your core values? What rituals do you have in place in order to focus on maintaining inner peace? Meditation allows us to be still, quiet and open. Do you meditate? With your eyes open or closed? Do you create an altar setting? The best form of meditation is whatever makes you do it regularly. Allow yourself a certain amount of undisturbed time on a regular basis. Do you have a mantra? Do you listen to meditation tapes? Do they help?

Whether you formally meditate or simply stay in your breath by pausing, the key to peace of mind is to be mindful of the present moment. Stay in your breath. Take in a deep inhale. Hold it. Slowly exhale. Any ritual that brings you back to your center right now, in this moment, in your breath, is extremely useful. Taking deep breaths is essential to health and vital energy. 

Whenever we become anxious or rushed, we tend to breathe badly, with shallow breaths. Because I am so much older than most of you, I am free to spend more quiet meditation time in contemplation and stillness. But no matter how many demands there are on you, being aware of your breath will save you time. Whenever you feel the first signs of your body getting uptight, pause. 

It’s important for me to have plants and trees in the cottage, especially in the winter months. When outside, I enjoy meandering, consciously observing nature’s beauty. Because the light is always changing, we will see the sky, water and land differently each time we look. Nature is always in flux and is in transition from one moment to the next and from one season to the next. Regeneration — the cycle of life, growth and death — is about hope, new life and energy. Nature is sacred. Thich Nhat Hanh understood that we are walking on sacred ground. 

I make an effort to observe pretty sunrises with the ribbons and bands of pinks and lilac in the blue sky. Every sky is beautiful. I feel awe at the wondrous beauty of some of the sunsets we have in Stonington Harbor, especially this time of year. I love to become mesmerized by the sight and energetic sound of waterfalls. Watching the ocean waves pounding the sandy shore at a deserted beach, away from people and land, is soothing and vitalizing. I feel a calm balm engulf me as well as a spiritual connection that centers me and makes me feel relaxed, whole and complete when I encounter profoundly beautiful natural scenery. 

We can’t always be in the presence of beautiful natural, environmental sanctuaries, but we can envision these scenes in our mind’s eye. I feel grateful for having the privilege to have access to nature’s splendor on a daily basis living in such a glorious place in Southeast Connecticut. 

I feel a calm balm when I open the back door of the cottage, observing my tiny back garden and inhaling the fresh sea air. I love the sense of peace I feel seeing my small garden, the harbor or any beautiful, quiet place where I can meditate and feel my soul expand, lost in thought. 

The late William Lyon Phelps, a legendary English professor at Yale who was greatly revered by Peter, taught his students “to paint the walls of your mind with many beautiful pictures.” When we live according to our firm beliefs and inviolable principles, we are free of guilt or shame. Knowing ourselves requires us to be aware of our emotions under all circumstances. As early as the fifth century BC, a passage in the Bhagavad Gita read, “Inner peace is beyond victory or defeat.” Indeed, inner peace is “the triumph of principles.” 

Abigail Adams, the power behind her husband John, wrote a letter to him when he was in France. She expressed her desire for him to “pay attention to women’s early literary education when first principles are instilled in us and guide our lives to basic truths of decency and honor. When we are firmly grounded in basic essential qualities of good behavior we acquire a contented mind.” 

Aristotle taught his students, “It is the repeated performance of just and temperate actions that produces virtue.” He believed in the power of habits to cultivate more virtuous, ethical, moral, intellectually reassured behavior. We become good at what we do by regularly working to improve ourselves. By being in the habit of doing the right, good, fair and just thing, we become more right, good, fair and just. Simply expressed, it feels good whenever we are good — in thought, word and deed! Contentment and inner peace are the rewards for being motivated to follow our north star.